Communicating at the Highest

Arie expressing that, nap time was good to her :)

Although verbal communication is important, spoken words make up only a small part of communication. The majority of communication is nonverbal. In fact, some research has shown that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal! The amount of communication that is nonverbal shows why it is so important to pay close attention to people’s actions as well as their words. So how do people communicate non-verbally? Nonverbal communication is made up primarily of facial expressions and body language. Understanding these nonverbal cues helps to fully understand what the speaker is saying. Mastering nonverbal communication will enable you to be a better communicator as you get a better understanding of the nonverbal cues you and the people you communicate with are sending. If you don’t understand nonverbal communication, you will miss out on part of the message. Nonverbal cues can tell you how people feel if they are telling the truth, and whether or not they are paying attention.





Nonverbal cues or communication play a very important role in an individual’s everyday life. There are also many different kinds of nonverbal cues or communication. And some of those nonverbal cues include gestures, paralinguistic, facial expression, body language and posture, eye gaze, proxemics, and appearance.


Demonstrative communication is defined as a type of communication that observes nonverbal cues. Some examples of nonverbal cues are tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. Many people feel that these are not telling signs of communication but could not be any further from the truth. Communication is in everything that we do and say. Your tone of voice can tell someone if you are happy, sad, angry and even nervous.



The most common among all the nonverbal communication is the facial expressions. For example, a frown or a smile conveys emotions that are distinct and are difficult to express by means of verbal communication. Research has shown that nonverbal cues or body language along with facial expressions, tone of voice and body stance account for almost 55% of all the communication that takes place. As per the research, only 7% of the message’s comprehension by the receiver is based on the actual words of the sender, 38% is on the basis of paralanguage (the volume, tone, and pace of speech) while 55% is on the basis of nonverbal cues (body language).


How do you get better at non-verbal communication? The answer is simple. By practicing good listening skills, you can improve your ability to listen to others and understand their point of view. You'll be able to communicate with people in a more effective way. You'll learn how to use body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. It will also help you become more confident in speaking up when asked for advice or support. Who doesn't want to feel like they helped someone?. I love that feeling of being heard. If you're not sure what to say, ask yourself: Am I really listening to my peers? Am I actually hearing them out loud?.


As primates, we tend to place verbal communication on the highest pillar and have trouble fathoming other outlets of “language.” But in fact, most animals communicate in vastly different ways. What are you communicating with your posture, facial expression, tone of voice, or even just an eyebrow? He is extremely Type Aand needs everything just-so. In contrast, you are a hard-working but casual Type-B doctor. You roll with the punches and can stand some disorganization as long as your main objectives of doctoring are being met.



Communication from the highest values approach requires you to think and use words that attract, interest, excite and call to action the person you are speaking to. By understanding their highest values (or what makes them tick) you can equate your words to their values, interests, and outlook. This increases engagement and understanding exponentially. This is a simple concept. Use what makes them tick to maintain their interest and to keep them engaged. If you speak the language of their highest interests and values, you will be on the mobilized playing field.



Communicating at your highest abilities not only help you to achieve your goals but also help you to be more successful. Maybe get the job that you are interviewing for, or the promotion that you have been looking for. Whatever it is, communicate with others in a way that will make them feel valued and respected. Showing that same respect allows you to be a better leader.


Better communication goes a long way toward building trust and rapport. The more you know about your audience, the easier it is to build. You can also use this information to create a stronger connection with them. I consider myself a good listener, but I am still learning how to be a good communicator. I have good days and bad days, great articles and not so great articles. But I keep going, because I know one day, I will be.


Practice and disciplinary confidence are showing that you have faith in your abilities and showers others with understanding. It's also showing that you are willing to listen, even if it means being a little uncomfortable.






As always, thanks for investing time!.


Leilani Raven Katen

Individualism and Why it is Important

 The modern age is arguably one of the most liberating times when it comes to self-discovery and exploration. People within the Western culture are free to express themselves in a multitude of ways, without much inhibition or back-lash. It is a time that ushers in a fluid dance of feminine and masculine energy, demonstrating that these concepts exist in less of a dichotomy and on more of a spectrum, giving freedom to redefine what constitutes both femininity and masculinity. As wonderful as this is, it is not without its consequences. The idea of what it means to be a man has changed, but the definition of that change has become upsettingly unclear. As a result, an entire generation of men now exists without a sense of direction, purpose, or sense of self. Men have always been driven to build, learn, and grow, but without the guidance to know where to start or how to do so, we find ourselves frustrated and stuck.



The journey of self-discovery of identity and culture is a very challenging process because it involves discovering and revealing the good and bad experiences that shaped us as human beings. The effects of self-discovery include happiness, disappointment, clarity, enlightenment, and even self-fulfillment. However, it also entails fear, doubts, confusions, and misunderstandings. Most importantly, it also means finding our ultimate purpose in life. According to Abraham Maslow’s arguments, in “The hierarchy of needs", there are three levels: Physiological, safety, and esteem.  Physiological needs include food, water, and shelter.  Safety is the need for protection from danger or threat.  Safety needs include love, security, and belonging.  Esteem is the need for recognition and acceptance. These are all important factors in a person's life but they cannot be separated from each other. They are related to the level of self-actualization and self- esteem. This is where we start to realize that we have no control over what happens to us. We don't know how much time will pass before our next meal, when it comes to sex, or whether we will ever get pregnant.  The way we think about ourselves is also affected by the way others perceive us.  This is why we must learn to accept ourselves as who we are and not what others think of us.



Self-discovery is a fundamental component of personal growth. We must take the time to discover who we are as a person. This is accomplished through self-reflection. Self-reflection allows us to think about and examine our actions, preferences, feeling, values, beliefs, emotions, and tendencies. Since we are all different in the way we think, feel, act, learn, and perceive the world, it is beneficial to take the time to reflect in order to gain a better insight into ourselves. Self-discovery is a way for us to explore our individual personalities, natural preferences, values, beliefs, preferred styles, and tendencies.



This is a central tenet of the Existential-Humanistic perspective that places the individual's journey to self-discovery at the very heart of the discovery of purpose and meaning which then affect elements such as self-regard, mental resilience and the ability to not be cowered by even the most insurmountable odds. In making yourself into who you are, tread carefully. Make the right decisions. Understand that every choice is a decision in itself and each decision is both taking you towards a place and building who you are.



Do you know what it is that makes you feel so alive? What does it mean to be truly happy? I think the answer lies in our ability to find ourselves when we are not afraid of being alone. When we can be completely present with ourselves and just let go of all the things that make us uncomfortable.


Depression is said, for example like yourself telling you that, the person you are playing is tiresome. Mental-exhaustion is a common symptom of depression. It's not just about being depressed but also about how your mind works and what your brain does to make sense of things. It's important to understand that depression is not something you can simply get rid of. No one can ever think it away. It's a state of mind that has been created by the human brain.


The human brain is an infinitely complicated organ. Doctors and scientists are making new discoveries about it every day. The information that Asprey shares are remarkable and compelling. His research and extent of self-experimentation are impressive. Even more impressive is his self-awareness and keen understanding of his own cognitive function, moods, and energy levels.



A Trekkie analogy: Michael Burnham in the new Star Trek Discovery is a human who was raised in the Vulcan culture and taught to shed her emotional self in favor of pure logic. She struggles to embrace the concept that she needs both her Vulcan logic as well as her Human emotional layers to be self-actualized. Similarly, Artificial Intelligence (AI) will not reach its highest levels of effectiveness until both are integrated into its decision making.



Interest in the topic and practice self-discovery has been growing steadily since the 1960s. Bearing the marks of an age of science and individualism, the premise of self-discovery is to study oneself in order to know oneself. Like the scientist who assumes an objective world that is ripe for discovery, the self-investigator feels confident that, with sufficient effort and diligence, her true self can be unearthed and brought into the light of understanding.



Thanks for investing time, please hit the follow button on the side for more ingestible reads.




As always


Leilani Raven Katen




Ps- comment below about your journey of self-discovery in the last few months. I am a big believer in self-discovery and have been doing so for the past years. I've always had this belief that if you are not aware of yourself and what you want to do with your life then it is impossible to achieve anything.

Growth Involves a Balance of Good and Bad

“Every success story is a tale of constant adaption, revision, and change.” —Richard Branson"

My Daughter and I enjoying the day! :)

A great teacher of mine once preached on the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. A fixed mindset is one that limits change and growth, whereas a growth mindset accepts change and promotes growth. This can be directly applied to love. Humans can either limit their ability and modes of loving, or they can allow it to flourish and impact the lives of others. Every single person on this planet has the capacity in their heart to put their differences with others aside and work together through love.  40 years of research by Stanford professor Carol Dweck proves that the growth mindset exists and that you can change from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset. By adopting the growth mindset, you can accomplish more, be more successful (which increases your happiness), and lead a more meaningful life.



Kim: Resilience, resolve, passion, work ethic, humility, adaptability, and a growth mindset. Things change fast and you won’t know everything, but you should be able to learn fast and grow with every experience. (Gross, E. L., Jun. 2018)



How do we start the process of changing our lives? I believe that the first step is to understand what it means to be a human being. This is where you begin to see yourself as an individual and not just a sum of parts. When you are able to identify your own strengths and weaknesses, then you can begin to develop those areas in which you need to improve.



What major side effects do bad influences have on our lives and how do we deal with them?. Having bad influences in our lives is like having extra baggage, or like having cavities in our teeth, we are surrounded by pain, hurt. We call into work because of the pain and hurt. We make excuses and distract ourselves with those excuses. Using home remedies that just don't work, "well, if I just wait, maybe it will sort itself out...". I believe that the most important thing is to be certain about your wants and needs. The more you know about yourself, the better off you will be. Because then you can decide who benefits your life and who doesn't. It's not always easy to make a decision but it is very important to make one with deep thought and properly analyze it.



Let’s say you feel like you’re not getting ahead at work. A fixed mindset says the situation is the way it is, and it will never change no matter what you do. A growth mindset says you can create change if you work hard, adapt to feedback and implement strategies for personal development. It goes without saying which type of people go further in their careers. (Scudamore, B., Aug. 2017)



The difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset is like night and day. A person with a fixed mindset believes that their abilities are traits that cannot be changed. On the other hand, a person with a growth mindset believed that their abilities are the result of their own effort. This is the difference between wanting to look smart and wanting to become smart. There are instances where you can see whether or not a person has a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. Generally, by observing how one goes about being challenged is a clear marker for their mindset





Contrast the growth mindset to the fixed mindset. The latter believes that people can't change, that we have fixed traits. Either you're born a talented writer or you're not. "It's no use to try again," a person with the fixed mindset tells herself when she receives her first rejection slip. She is afraid of looking like a failure so she gives up.  She doesn't want to be seen as a failure because she thinks everyone will see her differently.  The growth mindset is about learning from your mistakes and moving forward.  This is where I think there are two types of growth: Positive and negative.  Positive growth is when you learn something new every day.  Negative growth is when you don't know what to expect so you refuse to make decisions, procrastinating everything.  The difference between these two types of growth is that positive growth requires you to take risks and fail.  It's not easy but it can be done.  The only way to get better at anything is by taking chances. No one learns something and is great at it the first try.  But if you're willing to take a chance on yourself, then you'll never have any regrets.



As you read this article, I encourage you to adopt a "Growth Mindset" and open your mind to new perspectives. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, describes the "Growth Mindset" as effort plus learning equals growth and success. This means if you put in the right effort and learn from your mistakes, you will succeed.



Faith in self is love for self



Thanks for investing time and remember, little steps are the most important!.

















Leilani Raven Katen <3